So today I was listening to the lower 80s on the FM dial & came across what I had thought was NPR. It was NOT NPR. This was a religious themed talk show.
The gentleman talking was at the end of this two week topic (topic unknown to me) however he was talking about the *fact* that we are born with sin.
Now…I was brought up Catholic & I graduated from a Franciscan University. I’ve been baptized, twice, had my First Communion & I was confirmed. I took no less than 9 credit hours of college level Theology classes. I was remarried by an Army Chaplain. Brandon & Ella have both been dedicated. With all of this said, I AM a believer. I am NOT a church going regular & due to years of Catholicism I DO feel loads of guilt about it. The reason, above & beyond Sunday morning sloth, is that I am SO unsure of exactly WHAT I believe that I cannot commit to one religion.
One thing that I am DAMN sure of is that I do now want to BE whatever religion THIS man was professing to be. The conversation that I caught, & to be fair it MAY have been out of context, was about the *fact* that we are all born sinners & that we all need to be forgiven. I am a HUGE believer in asking for forgiveness. Knowing when we have done something wrong or committed a sin is what helps so many people to learn from their mistakes. What got right up under my skin is that this man claimed that babies, children, & people without the mental capacity to ask for forgiveness since they cannot understand sin are not exempt from damnation. He claims that God’s grace should fall on these poor souls if they were to die before they could ask for & comprehend forgiveness & penance. Oh boy!
Does this mean if I never teach my children about God, if we never read the Bible, if I never teach them to pray or ask for forgiveness that THEY will suffer because I have failed them? My children will go to hell upon death because I failed at my job? This is not a religion that I can believe in.
Every Sunday comes & goes & I feel sad that I have not taken my children to church. They both would LOVE it. (They have been to church before….just not since we moved here.) They LOVE V.B.S.. I know what I can & cannot handle in a church. I just can find my fit.
4 comments:
I can't even begin to tell you how much I can relate to this post of yours! I will say, however, that after trying so many different churches as a child and young adult, that I have chosen NOT to believe. I know this bothers a lot of people, so I don't advertise it.
As a parent, I always wanted to prove that children can be brought up to be compassionate, giving, loving, altogether good people without using God as a threat to make them that way. I actually heard a mother say to her young daughter once, "What would Jesus say about how you're acting right now." I looked at my two (who were pre-schoolers at the time) and said, "If you ever act like that it isn't Jesus you need to be worried about, it's ME!"
When Keeghan was diagnosed with cancer, I thought about religion again for the first time in years. Of my two kids, Keeghan was the least interested in religion and flat told some of his doctors that he didn't believe in God. When I knew he was going to die, I was so scared. What if I was wrong? What if I had condemned him by not forcing him to believe in something. Then I looked around at all the "good Christians" and honestly thought to myself, "if these are the examples of what kind of person you need to be to get into heaven, I'll take my ticket to hell thankyouverymuch." It's taken me some time, and I still struggle with it sometimes, to really know in my heart that Keeghan didn't go anywhere bad when he died. He was too good. I don't know that I believe he went to heaven, but I do know that he's already been to hell and he beat that place.
Long response . . . sorry (you should never have let me know you have a blog Jayme!). My point is that I agree with you - that guy was whacked if he thinks innocent children who do not accept God go to hell. I don't think anyone wants to believe in that kind of a God.
Shannon,
I was actually thinking of you when I wrote this. I remember that you posted in your blog some of the horrible things "Christians" said to you about Keeghan's salvation. I was so ANGRY that anyone who was reading your blog would feel that they had the right to make such comments.
I think what got to me after hearing this guy talk on the radio was that anyone who believes that the child deserves to be punished for the wrongs of the parent is not okay with me.
I know that I am a good mother. I put my kids first, I worry too much, I try to do the right thing but I will be the first to tell you that I am FAR, FAR, FAR from perfect. My imperfections should not reflect onto my children.
I do the best to teach them right from wrong. I’ve taught them to acknowledge when they are wrong & to ask for forgiveness. They know that no one is perfect. Isn’t this the basic foundation for many religions?
Warmly,
Jayme
*Shannon – I’m glad you are on my blog! I love to read what you write!*
LOL - I'm so glad that you are glad I'm here Jayme! I am too. After I wrote my reply earlier I took off to go shopping with Mike, but I kept worrying that I might have offended you! I feel much better now.
When I made the comment about looking at all the "good Christians" around me, I didn't mean to slam all Christians. I've met a few who I truly admire for their ability to have faith without shoving it down my throat, and their ability to really practice what they preach. Unfortunately, I've met FAR more that seem to think they are guaranteed a place in heaven just because they go to church.
The worst ones for me - absolute WORST - are what I call The One True Way'ers. They just know that their way is the One True Way. I had at least one of those talk to me after Keeghan died and I seriously had to go home and scream I was so angry. I personally think the fact that I didn't yell at/hit/kill her should buy MY ticket into heaven!
On parenting, I think one of the key things we must all do as parents is know that we aren't perfect and that our kids aren't either. But I think kids should be taught to be good because it is the right thing to do and not because it will get them into heaven or hell. But that's just me.
On a side note . . . I find it very weird that the word verification I have to type in so that this will post is "slautr."
Jayme,
YIKES! Okay, let's look at the example of Christ. . . Yes, we are all born with original sin. . .if we choose to turn from God that is one thing. But if you do not have the mental capacity to know right from wrong, you are so exempt. The Catholic Church Doctrine actually states that, but really do we need to look up doctrine on that one? Seriously God is a loving God. He is also a just God, so condemnation for those who don't know right from wrong? That is just crazy.
Shannon makes such a good point that not everyone preaching the gospel is walking the walk. (I sadly fall into that category too many times as well.) Not that we discount the sin, as we know how sad it makes God. In the Bible Jesus warned the sin of pride was far worse than sins of the flesh. What we need to remember is those people are not God. It is not God that is offensive and unkind. Please don't let sinful people stand in the way of a relationship with such a kind and loving God.
I have to say I am one of those moms who using the statement, "What do you think Jesus thinks of that behavior?" I will not always be there for my children, but Jesus is ALWAYS there for them. I am one of those sinful people who fall, and fail them. I do apologize, but I still make mistakes. God on the other hand is their rock. He is solid. In His infinite wisdom, He asked that we place Him first. Not that He is so full of Himself, but knowing that humans can let us down.
My intention is not to be preachy, and if you read that I do apologize. I just know what a tremendous peace I've been blessed with by learning more about my faith. The more I dig into the word of God, and learn about my Catholic Faith, the more awed and humbled I am by God's unending love. Now I have to say this. This walk is not always easy. It doesn't mean that I'm insulated from "bad" things, but when things are challenging (my nieces were just hospitalized again last week. . .) I'm not alone. I'm not left feeling so desolate. I feel sadness, but I know God is with me.
In this Christmas season, I invite you back to church. Scott Hahn has some really great books that discuss the faith which may be helpful. I pray you find your path.
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